Falling In Uncertain Love; The Bestfriend Conundrum

 

I believe many people have had to struggle with this awkward moment with a friend of the opposite sex, that moment where the bond just grows more than the norm, with deep real conversations. This in itself is not a bad thing at all, because all those moments allow you to know them and see them on the inside (not always some people are good at hiding).

You are not meant to be romantically interested in them but then you do not know what is wrong in your head and your heart. You do not want to be the one to mess up the friendship and you are not the only one who has been in this so uncomfortable situation. 

Most of us struggle to tell the difference, torn between losing a friendship over something that really could be nothing. It was very difficult because it was not planned or intentional so when it hit us, we do not know what to do with it. Struggle to tell if it is just a momentary crush, or you are beginning to have romantic feelings. 

The tiny little voice in your head trying to convince you with the “do not say anything you will regret”, and your heart whispers “you will regret every day for the words you did not say”. One of them is right. 

But how do you even tell? In the ensuing paragraph, I will chronicle some signs that I ignored, that will help readers know when they are heading into a battle between the devil and the deep sea. The first thing to note is, you cannot help but think about them all the time you might try to shut it out but those thoughts just will not leave you. They are on your mind no matter what. 

From thinking about them, you begin to want to spend more time with them, you become interested in how they spend their free time. You might start fearing you will lose them to someone else, you want to be involved in everything and anything curious about what they’re doing when they’re not with you, the more you like them. 

The next stage inevitably is; you start flirting with your friend accidentally. Flirting comes naturally. Some people purposefully flirt others unknowingly flirt. When you find yourself flirting and then catching yourself after, you have feelings for them. From flirting, this next point though rare it happens, you get upset when it is not you, they broke their big news too, the person they called when they needed help, or spent time with. 

At that moment you’re not necessarily angry but just upset and it is not wrong to get upset. And before you know it, you have started withholding information about people you think are attractive to you, telling them about it makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable because in your mind you think something is developing. 

But know it is just you, your best friend might not even pay attention to all these signs listed. It is sometimes the other way round you get upset when they tell you about their escapades, their time with the person they like, this wouldn’t bother you at all if you do not have feelings for them. You’d even be happy for them. 

Getting upset when they talk about liking someone is a sure sign you have deeper feelings for them. From there you enter the most critical stages, start thinking about dating them, you are daydreaming, you have a bee in your bonnet, like William Wordsworth time with the daffodils. 

You are seeing yourself kissing them, you are not likely to picture yourself making out with just a friend, you might have thought about it a couple of times that is fine but this time you are imagining it and you like to think about getting intimate with them. 

When you just feel like your emotions toward them are different than they used to be, it could be a sign you’re falling for your best friend. Don’t rush into a romantic relationship with your best friend…many times people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your friends. 

At times friendship is the start of real romance but before you go ahead and tell how you feel just take a moment to make sure it is mutual. Because if it is not you should know you have slaughtered a big fat cow for vegetarians. It is better to keep a real, honest, caring friend better than a romantic partner that might leave you at any moment. 

It is worth knowing that a really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort, and you should not be made to feel ashamed or bad for falling for your BESTFRIEND

Writer: Joseph Nii Adotei